The Baq Pack is expanding!

We’re having a baby!  

Officially expanding to 5 members this coming March.

Baby baq #3 announcemennt

Long post ahead and *Trigger Warning*. 

My husband and I had always envisioned that we would have three kids. Our plan was that our youngest would be less than 4 years younger than our second. But, before we knew it, our 2nd was turning 4 and we were nowhere near having a 3rd. So we started trying. We thought this would be easy. It wasn’t. 

I thought I would get pregnant the 1st month of trying. Or the 2nd. Or the 3rd. And then I did. And then it was lost. And then I did again. But again, we experienced loss. It was a weird loss—one that I wasn’t sure I could grieve. In the hopes of getting pregnant, I was really eager to find out each month if I was. I purchased all of the early detection tests. I got positive readings, I got excited, I even bought little baby booties as a way of telling my husband that I was pregnant….only to get a period shortly after. I would later come to know that I was experiencing something called a chemical pregnancy. I was pregnant, but they weren’t viable. These pregnancies were so short that I wondered “was I ever really pregnant?” and wrestled with whether or not I had the right to grieve. At the end of the day, I was heartbroken. 

I had gone to see a dr to see what was going on with my body, and that’s when I was referred to a gynecologic oncologist—yeah, cancer doctor of the reproductive organs. Without going into too much detail, the precancer terms were thrown around…and then some cutting, scraping, and lasering away bad tissue happened. 

After a month, my dr said we could continue trying, just try not to stress about it. But after much reflection, I was just thankful that I was able to walk away without this turning into something more. I was tired of being emotionally drained and started to think 3 kids just wasn’t in the cards for us. I just needed to be thankful I could be with my babies now.  I told my husband I didn’t want to try anymore. We were at peace with this decision. 

And then my period didn’t come…for awhile. I worried about getting my husband’s hopes up, so I called Janelle instead about what to do. 8 days late, I took a test. And there was the pregnant sign. Still not wanting to get our hopes up, we waited to see the ultrasound, and then another, and by the 3rd time we had an ultrasound, our OB said “Congratulations, this one has a strong heartbeat! This one is 99% viable.” 

99% viable.

These words swirled around for some time before I was able to process that we’re officially having a baby. 

TLDR: Did we want this 3rd baby? Yes.

 

❤️B

My Parent/Teacher Perspective on Re-opening Schools.

Pic from last year

I’m a special education teacher and a mom of two kids under the age of 5. If I can be completely honest, I’ve been feeling very anxious lately, like stressed the F out kind of anxious. 

Around this time, I would be shopping for school supplies, not for my own kids, but for my students (who I end up calling “my kids” anyway). 

Around this time, I would be choosing my first day of school outfit. 

Around this time, I would be anxious, but in a good way. I would be anxious to finally be back in the classroom, anxious to meet my new students, and anxious to learn each of their unique personalities.

Now, I’ve got the bad anxious. I’m feeling small and helpless. I have no idea what is happening behind closed doors when it comes to my job. I literally have no clue. And as I talk to my colleagues, it’s evident that we are all in the same boat. We don’t know when we’re going back to our students and we don’t know where or how. 

We’re trying to blindly navigate through waves of uncertainty and be prepared for whatever lies ahead. When the schools closed, we had a couple of weeks to learn a completely different teaching skillset. We were, or at least I was, overwhelmed, worried, and everything in between on how I could do this and how it would work. But I figured it out--we figured it out.

And during that time, my heart was aching to be back with my students. See, as a special education teacher, I work with a very small, tight-knit group of students. During this past school year, I’ve not only learned each of my student’s unique personalities, but also their dreams, aspirations, and fears. I was there to cheer them on when they succeeded and there to encourage them when they felt frustrated. My students knew they could come to me if they were hungry, if they needed something like clothes or school supplies, or if they just needed someone to listen to them. Honestly, I even had a lot of guilt when I felt I was spending more time and energy with my work kids than with my actual kids.  

So when the school closures happened, I worried about them endlessly. I tried my best to ease their new fears and worries, as well as their parents. I tried to reassure the parents that they’re doing a great job and not to worry too much about the student workload. I felt that in the midst of a pandemic, the very least we could do as teachers was to show compassion for our parents because they were also struggling to figure out how they were going to do their jobs while watching their children.

So, why am I so anxious? 

Because 3 weeks away from schools reopening, I don’t know the plan. Because I don’t know how I’m going to work from home with my kids at home again. But also in the same vein, I’m worried about physically going into work and getting sick, or my kids getting sick. Or anyone getting sick.

And then to add to that, the articles and the comments. As the start date of schools draw near, there’s more anger towards teachers. From an opinion piece titled “Teachers are underworked and overpaid” (written in 2018, but has gained more traction recently) to the random Facebook comments I would scroll through, I saw that people were resenting us. People were saying that we are lazy, we are looking for an easy way out, or that we are part-time workers with a full-time salary. Some of these comments came from my own community. I talked to a friend who teaches 500 miles away and she said it’s the same in her community. But, she’s grown numb to them now.

This is wrong. We need the support of our community.

I assure you that I want nothing more than to see my students. But when it’s safe to do so. I assure you that we want nothing more than things to go back to normal and for businesses to open and run as usual. I assure you that we’re not just trying to find an easy way out. We are all stuck between a rock and a hard place. I just wish that people could be a little bit more compassionate and show a little more grace. We, teachers, are trying to figure this out with the little information that we have. 

<3 B

Plant with me!

Quarantine check in day# 19.

I feel like my head is just above water here. I’m constantly shuffling between my mom hat, teacher hat, and professional colleague hat. Just this morning I attended a Zoom meeting with a business shirt on top and sweat pants on the bottom—while trying to keep my 3 yr old within arm’s distance of my laptop with a smile on my face. I’m also trying to figure out how the heck I’m going to teach my students online, get my own kids to learn from their teachers online when they’ve never used a computer before, keep up with the virtual trainings, and maybe keep the house from burning down. Does that make sense? Does that sound dizzying? It absolutely is. We were supposed to go back to our school sites on April 6th, and then it was pushed to May 1st, now it’s indefinite. The future was starting to look real grim here.

Then I stumbled on a quote that really spoke to me.

“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow”.

Sending out these seed packets!

It really made me stop, take a breather, and think. I am grateful for mine and my family’s health and the ability to continue nourishing it. As apocalyptic as everything seems right now, I do believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel—and I really want to put some positivity out there by emphasizing on the belief of tomorrow. I felt that I wanted to offer something bright and hopeful to this mom community, as little as it might be. So I’ve combined all of my different hats and, with help from my best mom friends, created these little packets. Just look at that beautiful label my friend Sasha made! Sasha is one of my best mom friends and she co-founded our business, Loralei & Co., with me! She is very talented and also passionate about working with kids—she’s a pediatric nurse practitioner!

Each packet contains a compressed pellet and vegetable seeds —either zucchini, tomatoes, or green beans. I would love to send a packet to you and your little one so you can grow a garden or add to one you might already have!

And of course, being a teacher, I made a lesson plan and additional activities to go along with it. I created two different types of coloring pages, one for Pre-K and under and the other for Kindergarteners and up. I hope you enjoy these packets and coloring pages. They were a true labor of love and the very first time I’ve drawn an actual coloring page. :)

Please email us for your free packet of seeds, and let us know which seeds you would like!

You can download the lesson plan and coloring pages here:

Plant with Me Lesson Plan

Green Bean Coloring Page // Green Bean Facts Coloring Page

Tomato Coloring Page // Tomato Facts Coloring Page

Zucchini Coloring Page // Zucchini Facts Coloring Page

I also have two very special and very little guests who wanted to provide a tutorial for this activity. Enjoy!

Quarantine Check-in

It’s been a little over a week since our school district made the difficult decision to close all schools, and four days since Governor Newsom ordered a shelter-in-place for all of California. During this time, I’ve honestly been scrambling trying to get my work in order while letting my two little ones kind of have a free for all —whoops!

I’ve seen several people post that we should just take this time to spend as a family and forgo a schedule, but as much as I would love to just have one-on-one time with my babies, I was still required to work from home, and I just have an innate need to reach out to my students (who were also blindsided by school closures).

The first week, I let my little ones watch movie after movie, run a muck in our front yard, and just have unstructured play until they were tired. I even let them stay up until 11pm when their usual bedtime is 7:30pm! As the spread of the COVID-19 virus worsens, and the possibility of school being closed for the rest of the school year though, I’m seeing that we really need to have a more structured system in place.

The teacher in me decided to create a visual schedule for my kids to follow (of course it’s laminated). I’ve gone over the pictures with them and now they know when to expect to do schoolwork, circle time/reading time, snack time, playtime, lunchtime, and nap time. Putting a limit on snack time has been the BIGGEST game changer. It’s only been a day, but they refer to their boards to see if they can get a snack.

Playtime!

I’ve also brought out the kids’ Ok to Wake Alarm clock to help them keep track of time. My son is currently learning how to tell time, while my daughter is starting to recognize numbers so she can match the numbers on the board to the one on the clock. It’s a win-win for everyone!

If you’re interested in the icons I used for this visual schedule, I made a PDF so you can download them here ! Want the character to look a little more like your littles? Shoot me a comment and I’d be more than happy to change that for you :) .

I’m curious to know what your household has been doing at home. Please share below!

I’m adding a gallery of things we’ve done the past couple of days when I finally got my sh*t together! ;) We did a few of my favorite things, such as arts/crafts and gardening, and then I made them do things like read and chores! Check out our Instagram for more Indoor Activity ideas on our Kids’ activities highlight reel!

Let's talk allergies.

Before anything, I would like to provide this disclaimer:

I am in no way, shape, or form a medical professional. The information found on this website is not to be substituted for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The information that is shared here is merely my own experience and personal opinion.

When I had my son it was only a matter of weeks before skin concerns began to arise. Instead of admiring “baby soft skin”, I found myself constantly going to the pediatrician for several skin issues. My son had cradle cap, baby acne, and many unexplained rashes. I was told many times that he will “outgrow it” and these were common ailments. Many times my barely-few-months old son was prescribed internal and topical steroids, and we were sent on our way. Honestly, I always felt ashamed when I left the pediatrician’s office. Every single visit, I was left feeling like I was overreacting.

Red and raw. These little legs left behind a bloody blanket.

So there I was, a new mom with a brand new baby who could not sleep more than an hour at a time. I was tired, hopeless, and quite frankly…I was embarrassed. I believed that each rash on my baby’s body signified my inability to be a good mom. What was I doing wrong to make by baby so miserable? What was I not seeing? What was I not doing correctly? Was I exposing him to something? Call it stubbornness, but I refused to just let it pass.

Maybe it’s the sheets.

Yeah, maybe he’s having an allergic reaction to the sheets.

Or can he be allergic to my breastmilk? Is that a real thing?

Can the food I eat be passed through my breastmilk? I mean alcohol can, so food might, too. Right?

I had a gut feeling these were all allergic reactions to something. These questions kept me up one night and, like a mad woman, I began doing my research a la Google.

There it is. I cracked the code. It was what I was eating. Eager to bring my findings to the pediatrician, I scheduled a doctor’s appointment first thing in the morning. Still covered in the constant rashes, I brought my son in and told the pediatrician my suspicions. Guess what he did?

He laughed.

He laughed, and told me that barely anything gets passed through breastmilk. That maybe, if anything, 2% of food gets passed through—barely enough to cause a skin reaction. He prescribed us Prednisone, Mupirocin, and topical steroids once again, and sent us on our way.

I remember being so fucking pissed. Maybe I was wrong about the allergy thing, but constantly prescribing damn steroids to a baby just didn’t feel right to me. Okay doctor, maybe I’m naive, but for the love of God, HELP ME GET TO THE ROOT OF THIS. I get that it will ~sOoN pAsS~, but you’re talking to a mother who is taking care of a baby that literally cannot sleep for more than an hour because of how uncomfortable he is. I’m talking about skin so uncomfortable that my baby was rubbing his limbs on whatever surface until they bled just to get some relief. Maybe I didn’t know what the hell I was talking about, but to laugh in my face? That was the final straw with this pediatrician. I wanted preventative care. I wanted someone who would help me be proactive about achieving healthy skin for my baby, not reactive.

my baby finally fell asleep after an all-nighter.

My baby, and his poor skin, was covered in red patches that cracked and oozed.

And yes, I tried the bleach bath.

Yes, I had a moisturizing routine for him.

Yes, I considered essential oils.

Yes, I tried Shea Butter.

And African Black Soap.

And Aquaphor.

And Cetaphil.

And Mustela.

Yes. Yes. yes.

Nothing worked. These didn’t get to the bottom of it. What was the cause of these rashes or (what the doctor was diagnosing it as) eczema? I needed to do something to get my baby comfortable and find some doctor who wasn’t just going to slap a band-aid on him and call it a day.

I found another pediatrician. And then another. And then another. Call me crazy, but I went through four pediatricians. I needed one who wanted to get to the root of it and not just offer steroids. We finally met a doctor who listened, and although she said it will probably pass, she also said

“Why let him suffer? Let’s get him comfortable.”

She suggested allergy testing, and I damn near hugged her.

Wouldn’t you know it, my baby was HIGHLY allergic to eggs, dairy, peanuts, and fish. He was also allergic to wheat, tree nuts, and soy. Guess what my diet consisted of back then? In an attempt to be healthy, I was eating fish, egg whites, and almonds almost daily.

By the time we found out this information, we were bottle-feeding my son the breastmilk I was able to store (my supply dried up, probably from all of the stress), and formula as a supplement. Already feeling guilty that I hadn’t been able to exclusively breastfeed anymore, I cried as I tossed out hundreds of ounces of breastmilk that I worked so hard to save up.

Now that we knew what he was allergic to, we tried our best to eliminate it all, but it was also extremely difficult to find formula that contained neither dairy nor soy. It wasn’t until we moved to San Diego that we found absolute relief.

I was skeptical bringing my son to yet another new pediatrician in our new city, but we had to. This doctor had a strange designation at the end of his title though. Instead of the common M.D., his ended with D.O. Was this a real doctor? Absolutely.

And we couldn’t have been more lucky. Apparently a D.O. “tend[s] to choose areas such as general internal medicine, pediatrics and family medicine that allow them to focus on holistic wellness.” (BTW, D.O. stands for Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine). This pediatrician was a godsend. He listened, he was empathetic, and he offered solutions beyond steroids. He led us to a formula called Neocate that contained neither dairy nor soy, but met all of my baby’s nutritional needs. And he referred us to an allergist.

I am so thankful that we were sent to an allergist. Overtime, we worked with the allergist to help my son outgrow his allergies. My son was able to eat solid foods at that point and it was so scary how many things were out there that could trigger a severe allergic reaction with him. There were many times a well-meaning relative or friend accidentally fed him something he was allergic to. Although we carried Epi-pens and had them stashed everywhere, we never needed to use them. Our allergist taught us what to look out for and how to respond. We were finally given the proper tools. We were finally well-informed and well-prepared.

My son did eventually outgrow most of them. He’s still allergic to nuts and slightly allergic to dairy, but he ate his first egg when he was 3! We’ve learned my son’s tell-tale signs, hives on the bottom of his left cheek, and monitor them closely. He is also 5 now, so he can tell us when he starts to get itchy. To this day, we do not go anywhere without a bottle of Children’s Benadryl. We’re thankful that he has never gone into anaphylactic shock—I can only imagine how terrifying that would be.

This whole experience was beyond frustrating, especially as a new mom. If this story somehow resonates with you, I feel you, mama. You’re not crazy and you’re not overreacting. You’re simply a mom who wants her baby to be happy and comfortable. That in itself makes you a great mom.

Edit post: I really want to emphasize that what I’ve written should not be taken as medical advice, it is simply my experience and my opinion. The biggest takeaway should be to not allow one professional to silence you. Trust your gut. Get a second or third professional opinion. Get to the bottom of it.

The first time my baby had clear skin without the help of steroids