Being a stay at home mom was never part of the plan.
I’m a former fashion stylist/buyer who was living out my dream jobs. Throughout my career I bought clothes for a living, attended fashion shows, and styled for photoshoots. I was living out my own version of Andy Sachs in The Devil Wears Prada. I was lucky enough that the job I was at when I got pregnant was actually supportive of families and having a work/life balance. But let’s be real, that kind of industry isn’t always kid friendly.
3 months after I gave birth to my daughter I eagerly went back to work. Looking back, I didn’t realize that I was still struggling with some lingering issues that caused my antepartum depression. I thought that going back to work was the first step to making me feel like my life was back to “normal”. Within my first month of going back, I started traveling nonstop for work. Lana started crawling while I was in New York for Market Week. She started doing “beautiful eyes” while I was in Miami for Swim Week. I had to watch her milestones through FaceTime and before I knew it she was turning one. That's when I realized if I didn’t slow down I was going to miss everything.
My husband was so supportive and encouraged me to take a break from work to spend more time with Lana. I struggled with making a decision, jobs in the fashion / merchandising industry are limited in the Bay Area and I was afraid that if I left it would be hard for me to get back into. I went back and forth with the pros & cons until I came across a quote that sealed the deal for me. ( I know it sounds cheesy but it really spoke to me!)
“if you want to change the world, go home and love your family.”
I realized that as much as I loved my job and was proud of the career I built, the truth is I wasn’t changing the world or saving lives. But I did have two little ones’ lives to protect and futures to nourish. I was being given the chance to be with them everyday and to be fully present in their lives when it mattered most. So right after Lana’s 1st birthday, I quit my job. Then not even a month into my new role as a SAHM I found out I was pregnant with Isaiah! So the plan of staying home for a year turned into indefinitely.
There are times that I think back to my career and I do miss it. But a year and a half later, I still have no regrets of where I am now.
I’ve been on both sides of being a working mom and now a stay at home mom and I have such a deep appreciation & respect for both. At the end of the day, we’re all moms no matter where you work or what your schedule is we all deal with the same ups and downs of motherhood. I realized that no matter what you choose to do, as long as you’re fully present in the times you have with your children and they are taken care of and loved then we’re doing our job.