Sometimes—or most of the time—it feels like there just aren’t enough hours in the day to get all of the things on the to-do list done. Whether you’re a stay-at home or a working mom, that list just grows faster than you can check things off. It is daunting, and so damn exhausting.
I used to always create lists for myself. When I was a stay-at home, I figured not only was this a way to keep track of everything I did, but in some weird way to feel like I actually accomplished something (as if keeping another human being alive everyday wasn’t enough). No one imposed this on me. It was self-imposed. I had this skewed notion that what I did was meaningless because it didn’t bring home a paycheck. I actually felt ashamed that that was *all* I was doing. So to prove I wasn’t worthless, I created lists. Soon these lists morphed into a living, breathing monster.
I created a monster.
I stressed myself out.
I became a monster.
I wasn’t happy.
My family wasn’t happy.
We all suffered.
I’ve talked to other mom friends, and came to the conclusion that we all just feel like we need to prove we can do everything. It’s because of societal judgement on us moms. You ever get that look when you say you’re a stay at home mom?
That “Oh, you’re a stay-at home mom. Good for you.” look.
What about if you’re working? How dare you not spend time with your kids. Is money or your career more important than spending time with your kids?
I’ve been on the receiving end of those judgemental looks and passive-aggressive statements whether I was a SAHM or working full time. And I cared way too much about it. We pressure ourselves into proving we’re more than what society views us as. We try so hard to be super moms. We expend our energy and spread ourselves thin to the point of breaking.
Let me tell you something, mamas. This need to “prove something” is not only unhealthy, but it’s pointless. It really is. No matter what you do, you can’t win with other people. And that’s what you have to understand and not give a flying eff about. Other people are not your people. They are not your immediate family. And they should not consume any of your time, energy, or thoughts.
Focus on the well-being of your family, and honestly, that is only good if you are good. Your babies and your S.O. vibe off of you and your energy. So take care of yourself. Light some candles and soak in a bath. Read a book. Get a massage. Drink a glass (or a bottle) of wine. Do something to unwind and decompress. Breathe.
I know the saying, “don’t put off till tomorrow what you can do today”, but there will always be something to do. Right now, you need to take care of you.
May two thousand eighteen