We’re having a baby!
Officially expanding to 5 members this coming March.
Baby baq #3 announcemennt
Long post ahead and *Trigger Warning*.
My husband and I had always envisioned that we would have three kids. Our plan was that our youngest would be less than 4 years younger than our second. But, before we knew it, our 2nd was turning 4 and we were nowhere near having a 3rd. So we started trying. We thought this would be easy. It wasn’t.
I thought I would get pregnant the 1st month of trying. Or the 2nd. Or the 3rd. And then I did. And then it was lost. And then I did again. But again, we experienced loss. It was a weird loss—one that I wasn’t sure I could grieve. In the hopes of getting pregnant, I was really eager to find out each month if I was. I purchased all of the early detection tests. I got positive readings, I got excited, I even bought little baby booties as a way of telling my husband that I was pregnant….only to get a period shortly after. I would later come to know that I was experiencing something called a chemical pregnancy. I was pregnant, but they weren’t viable. These pregnancies were so short that I wondered “was I ever really pregnant?” and wrestled with whether or not I had the right to grieve. At the end of the day, I was heartbroken.
I had gone to see a dr to see what was going on with my body, and that’s when I was referred to a gynecologic oncologist—yeah, cancer doctor of the reproductive organs. Without going into too much detail, the precancer terms were thrown around…and then some cutting, scraping, and lasering away bad tissue happened.
After a month, my dr said we could continue trying, just try not to stress about it. But after much reflection, I was just thankful that I was able to walk away without this turning into something more. I was tired of being emotionally drained and started to think 3 kids just wasn’t in the cards for us. I just needed to be thankful I could be with my babies now. I told my husband I didn’t want to try anymore. We were at peace with this decision.
And then my period didn’t come…for awhile. I worried about getting my husband’s hopes up, so I called Janelle instead about what to do. 8 days late, I took a test. And there was the pregnant sign. Still not wanting to get our hopes up, we waited to see the ultrasound, and then another, and by the 3rd time we had an ultrasound, our OB said “Congratulations, this one has a strong heartbeat! This one is 99% viable.”
99% viable.
These words swirled around for some time before I was able to process that we’re officially having a baby.
TLDR: Did we want this 3rd baby? Yes.
❤️B